Canada
So this is it - we're here.
There were points over the last few weeks when I really thought we wouldn't make it. It was only when I burst into tears on Mountain’s shoulder halfway through the flight that I realized just how much I’d been holding my breath ever since we decided to go away together.
Breaking up with Nice Guy made things so much scarier – thinking of accidental monogamy still takes me back to the whole mess with Tallboy, where he'd got used to having me to himself, and how hard that was on both of us. Mountain is poly, but he and I still have slightly different views on what that may mean, in terms of casualness of relationships - I think there may need to be more discussion along the way.
Hopefully that's all it will need to be though, as I'm realising more and more how well our life-plans fit together. We both love to travel, and have chosen careers that fit in with that. This trip is a first experiment into what could become a way of life. A few months away, enjoying ourselves, working a little, learning new skills. A few months back in the City, saving money and seeing friends and loved ones, and then away again to do something and somewhere else new – sounds idyllic, doesn’t it?
It is odd, being here, things being so different to how we planned – We’ve both lost the jobs that we expected to be doing remotely while we were out here. Neither of us has a home to go back to, and I have lost my most major relationship, as well. Partly, I guess, as a result of my wanting to travel in the first place. It’s sad, but quite freeing, at the same time, to have no ties to pull us back. If we like it here there’s nothing* to stop us staying. The world is our oyster… for as long as we’re happy being an ‘us’.
I’m not going to take it for granted though – to me that’s the end of a happy relationship anyway. If you know your lover could choose to leave tomorrow, you want to make it worth sticking around, don’t you?
*except Visa applications
There were points over the last few weeks when I really thought we wouldn't make it. It was only when I burst into tears on Mountain’s shoulder halfway through the flight that I realized just how much I’d been holding my breath ever since we decided to go away together.
Breaking up with Nice Guy made things so much scarier – thinking of accidental monogamy still takes me back to the whole mess with Tallboy, where he'd got used to having me to himself, and how hard that was on both of us. Mountain is poly, but he and I still have slightly different views on what that may mean, in terms of casualness of relationships - I think there may need to be more discussion along the way.
Hopefully that's all it will need to be though, as I'm realising more and more how well our life-plans fit together. We both love to travel, and have chosen careers that fit in with that. This trip is a first experiment into what could become a way of life. A few months away, enjoying ourselves, working a little, learning new skills. A few months back in the City, saving money and seeing friends and loved ones, and then away again to do something and somewhere else new – sounds idyllic, doesn’t it?
It is odd, being here, things being so different to how we planned – We’ve both lost the jobs that we expected to be doing remotely while we were out here. Neither of us has a home to go back to, and I have lost my most major relationship, as well. Partly, I guess, as a result of my wanting to travel in the first place. It’s sad, but quite freeing, at the same time, to have no ties to pull us back. If we like it here there’s nothing* to stop us staying. The world is our oyster… for as long as we’re happy being an ‘us’.
I’m not going to take it for granted though – to me that’s the end of a happy relationship anyway. If you know your lover could choose to leave tomorrow, you want to make it worth sticking around, don’t you?
*except Visa applications
posted by Miss Scarlet at 5:18 am
3 Comments:
Glad to know you made it there safely. Hope you have a wonderful time while you're gone!
PS. Because of purely selfish reasons I do wish you make it back to the City sooner or later though. It's after all a lot closer to me than Canada. ;)
'Wuss'
Glad to hear you're safe in Canada! Reading this blog has made me realise how out of the loop I've been with respect to what's happening in your life, and that's not good. Let's stay in better touch this year, yeah? :-)
Good luck, gorgeous, and have fun.
xxx Cad
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