Ending
Well, it is sad, but unavoidable. It becomes clear that the compromise we agreed on is not working. T has admitted to me that he was in fact not happy with what we had agreed before anyway, but was trying to stick by it because he didn't want to lose me. Upsetting stuff.
The long and the short of it is that we are splitting up sooner rather than later, and I will shortly be looking for a new place to live. Talking November now, rather than in the new year.
There is going to be a lot of difficult discussion ahead, dividing the house and mortgage and everything, and sorting out what belongs to who, though we are both still very much in love, and intend to support each other through it. We just have to accept that the gap between what we both want out of life is too wide to compromise over as life partners, but hopefully we can stay friends for a long time ahead.
Only trouble now is... I'd really like to see Nice Guy again, but it is rather against T's wishes, and I will be living under his roof until I leave this country, despite us being definitely over. It is not just NG he doesn't want me to see, he is expecting me to be celibate until I leave. I'm afraid I am just not that kind of girl. Not sure what I can do about this.
It is very very tempting to just go ahead with it anyway, on the basis that I am pretty sure I could find somewhere to stay if the worst came and T kicked me out, and otherwise what he doesn't know won't hurt him. I know it is not the ethical way to go, but I have been pushed rather to my limit out here, and he has not been honest with me for a lot of the way to this point, otherwise I would not be in this mess. At least a couple of my friends agree, too, that really if we are not in a relationship any more either, then he has no right at all to dictate what I do outside of the house.
Well, I will see NG again on a platonic basis hopefully at some point this week, and explain the situation, and see where things go. I really want to do more though... there was a mention of things to do with massage oil, and some other things to do with whipped cream, I think it was, both of which sound rather lovely, and I would hate to have to miss out just because T is being unreasonable.
The long and the short of it is that we are splitting up sooner rather than later, and I will shortly be looking for a new place to live. Talking November now, rather than in the new year.
There is going to be a lot of difficult discussion ahead, dividing the house and mortgage and everything, and sorting out what belongs to who, though we are both still very much in love, and intend to support each other through it. We just have to accept that the gap between what we both want out of life is too wide to compromise over as life partners, but hopefully we can stay friends for a long time ahead.
Only trouble now is... I'd really like to see Nice Guy again, but it is rather against T's wishes, and I will be living under his roof until I leave this country, despite us being definitely over. It is not just NG he doesn't want me to see, he is expecting me to be celibate until I leave. I'm afraid I am just not that kind of girl. Not sure what I can do about this.
It is very very tempting to just go ahead with it anyway, on the basis that I am pretty sure I could find somewhere to stay if the worst came and T kicked me out, and otherwise what he doesn't know won't hurt him. I know it is not the ethical way to go, but I have been pushed rather to my limit out here, and he has not been honest with me for a lot of the way to this point, otherwise I would not be in this mess. At least a couple of my friends agree, too, that really if we are not in a relationship any more either, then he has no right at all to dictate what I do outside of the house.
Well, I will see NG again on a platonic basis hopefully at some point this week, and explain the situation, and see where things go. I really want to do more though... there was a mention of things to do with massage oil, and some other things to do with whipped cream, I think it was, both of which sound rather lovely, and I would hate to have to miss out just because T is being unreasonable.
posted by Miss Scarlet at 12:24 am
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