A Long Sigh
This world makes me sad.
Some days I go out into the world and I feel like a child again, and it is not a good feeling, it makes me want to cry. I want to believe that everybody out there has good intentions. I want to believe that good things happen to good people, and bad things to people who deserve it. I want to believe that people care, and I want to care about things without getting the cynical feeling that what I think or feel makes not the slightest difference to anything.
It seems nobody is straightforward these days. Everyone plays multiple roles, has secret lives. Perhaps that has been true all through society, but the anonymity of the web makes it so much easier to talk about these things -in an anonymous setting. Just browsing the web you can find secrets that people have posted, things that they are not telling their loved ones, their families, the people they work with - out of negativity, out of self interest, out of fear.
I would love to live in a world where I could put my real name, and my real contact details on this blog, where I could feel safe and sane doing so, but I know that sadly, this is not that world. I am fed up of the shadow boxing, the spy games, the hiding. I want to live in a world where things *are* as they seem.
I want to live in a world where people are open and honest with each other, who don't lie, who act with consideration for the feelings of others, and don't make assumptions about what those feelings are. I want to live in a world where love is honestly more powerful than apathy, and where it is safe to express that love, between anybody. Where strangers can be trusted and where the only surprises are the encountering of new forms of beauty.
I got off the bus this morning, and looked around me at the grey concrete, the brick cocoons that people have made to hide in, each with their little glowing screens, and all mod-cons, and then I looked at the huge grey sky and wanted to fall to my knees in despair. So much beauty, so much space, so much to go around, but people have to insist on being mean, petty, deceiving, fearful and small. I'm sure I'm not blameless either, but just thinking of how wonderful the world *could* be, if only people cared enough... that makes me want to cry.
I guess this is one of the reasons I am polyamorous - I feel the need to go out and make connections with beautiful people. People who care. At least if a few of us can live and love freely and honestly, and without expecting returns, perhaps the world could be that little bit happier.
x
Some days I go out into the world and I feel like a child again, and it is not a good feeling, it makes me want to cry. I want to believe that everybody out there has good intentions. I want to believe that good things happen to good people, and bad things to people who deserve it. I want to believe that people care, and I want to care about things without getting the cynical feeling that what I think or feel makes not the slightest difference to anything.
It seems nobody is straightforward these days. Everyone plays multiple roles, has secret lives. Perhaps that has been true all through society, but the anonymity of the web makes it so much easier to talk about these things -in an anonymous setting. Just browsing the web you can find secrets that people have posted, things that they are not telling their loved ones, their families, the people they work with - out of negativity, out of self interest, out of fear.
I would love to live in a world where I could put my real name, and my real contact details on this blog, where I could feel safe and sane doing so, but I know that sadly, this is not that world. I am fed up of the shadow boxing, the spy games, the hiding. I want to live in a world where things *are* as they seem.
I want to live in a world where people are open and honest with each other, who don't lie, who act with consideration for the feelings of others, and don't make assumptions about what those feelings are. I want to live in a world where love is honestly more powerful than apathy, and where it is safe to express that love, between anybody. Where strangers can be trusted and where the only surprises are the encountering of new forms of beauty.
I got off the bus this morning, and looked around me at the grey concrete, the brick cocoons that people have made to hide in, each with their little glowing screens, and all mod-cons, and then I looked at the huge grey sky and wanted to fall to my knees in despair. So much beauty, so much space, so much to go around, but people have to insist on being mean, petty, deceiving, fearful and small. I'm sure I'm not blameless either, but just thinking of how wonderful the world *could* be, if only people cared enough... that makes me want to cry.
I guess this is one of the reasons I am polyamorous - I feel the need to go out and make connections with beautiful people. People who care. At least if a few of us can live and love freely and honestly, and without expecting returns, perhaps the world could be that little bit happier.
x
posted by Miss Scarlet at 2:16 pm
1 Comments:
I totally agree - it's one of the reasons I have only a handful of true mates. Like you, I seek to connect with people who make me want to be a better person.
The anonymity of the web not only makes it easier to talk about certain aspects of our lives, it's easier to conduct a secret life.
Altruism is a quality in very short supply these days, too. Doing something to make another person feel good makes you feel good too, but now we're conditioned to think, 'What's in it for me?' and that's sad.
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