Humbugs and Sweeties
In which I am frustrated and low, but gain a new friend.
Well Christmas went better than i had worried about, perhaps not as well as I had hoped. Alcohol is a bad bad thing, and I am reminded once again why I avoid it most of the time.
Probably not everyone's idea of Christmas - sharing a cabin with a newly ex-boyfriend, whilst a current lover sleeps next door with his ex-girlfriend who doesn't officially know what is going on, and a bunch of other friends a few doors down who definitely aren't meant to. Still, the parts of it that I managed to forget about sex, it was good fun. The fact that there were no aging relatives, no kids, no sprouts (we had chinese food for Christmas dinner) and none of the usual rubbish that comes with the season definitely made a refreshing change. Bah humbug, indeed!
I have now been introduced to Nice Guy's ex, Snippet, she is small, feisty and warm hearted, and pretty much how I had imagined from what NG had said about her. I probably have not made an amazing first impression, considering I managed to get drunk (to be fair, she was the one pouring the drinks!), get upset and go running off, damaging myself in the process, and causing NG to get very worried about me and go out searching at silly o'clock in the morning. Got back to face the pair of them trying to bully me into admitting that life is worth living, which I think just made me all the more tearful, being on a serious low in self esteem, and not feeling I was worth all the fuss, but in soberness now I appreciate the effort. NG cleaned up my grazes and checked nothing was broken (in a slightly sadistic manner, but I thoroughly deserved it, I am sure) and Snippet railroaded me into staying over, no doubt so they could keep an eye and make sure I was OK.
I have been struggling very hard to remain optimistic, lately. It's not that I really believe anything awful is going to happen when I move out on my own, but I find it all so hard to picture. Not having been really single, or indeed lived alone, at any point in my adult life, it is going to be hard getting used to just not having someone there all the time. All the more reason to go and do it, of course, but I can't convince myself it is going to be easy. Nice Guy being so damn lovely doesn't make it any easier, either. I'm going to miss him horribly.
At any rate, I like Snippet, and (crossing my fingers, here) it seems to be somewhat mutual. I'm hoping we can spend a little more time together as a group before she leaves. I am desperate for a little bit of alone time with NG, as well, but I don't know how feasible that is going to be between now and New Year. I may just have to be tough, and hold on until then.
I am at least proud of myself for not having torn any telephone books in two, yet.
Well Christmas went better than i had worried about, perhaps not as well as I had hoped. Alcohol is a bad bad thing, and I am reminded once again why I avoid it most of the time.
Probably not everyone's idea of Christmas - sharing a cabin with a newly ex-boyfriend, whilst a current lover sleeps next door with his ex-girlfriend who doesn't officially know what is going on, and a bunch of other friends a few doors down who definitely aren't meant to. Still, the parts of it that I managed to forget about sex, it was good fun. The fact that there were no aging relatives, no kids, no sprouts (we had chinese food for Christmas dinner) and none of the usual rubbish that comes with the season definitely made a refreshing change. Bah humbug, indeed!
I have now been introduced to Nice Guy's ex, Snippet, she is small, feisty and warm hearted, and pretty much how I had imagined from what NG had said about her. I probably have not made an amazing first impression, considering I managed to get drunk (to be fair, she was the one pouring the drinks!), get upset and go running off, damaging myself in the process, and causing NG to get very worried about me and go out searching at silly o'clock in the morning. Got back to face the pair of them trying to bully me into admitting that life is worth living, which I think just made me all the more tearful, being on a serious low in self esteem, and not feeling I was worth all the fuss, but in soberness now I appreciate the effort. NG cleaned up my grazes and checked nothing was broken (in a slightly sadistic manner, but I thoroughly deserved it, I am sure) and Snippet railroaded me into staying over, no doubt so they could keep an eye and make sure I was OK.
I have been struggling very hard to remain optimistic, lately. It's not that I really believe anything awful is going to happen when I move out on my own, but I find it all so hard to picture. Not having been really single, or indeed lived alone, at any point in my adult life, it is going to be hard getting used to just not having someone there all the time. All the more reason to go and do it, of course, but I can't convince myself it is going to be easy. Nice Guy being so damn lovely doesn't make it any easier, either. I'm going to miss him horribly.
At any rate, I like Snippet, and (crossing my fingers, here) it seems to be somewhat mutual. I'm hoping we can spend a little more time together as a group before she leaves. I am desperate for a little bit of alone time with NG, as well, but I don't know how feasible that is going to be between now and New Year. I may just have to be tough, and hold on until then.
I am at least proud of myself for not having torn any telephone books in two, yet.
posted by Miss Scarlet at 1:08 pm
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