Two weeks away
Got the Dido song 'Sand in my shoes' playing in my head as I type. Two weeks away, and it really does feel like the whole world should have changed, but I'm going back to - I'm not even sure quite what.
I am both excited and nervous to be going back for the Goldfish Bowl - it's only for six weeks, while I pack up my things, look for jobs and flats online, and avoid seeing any relatives over the Christmas period (I will be wearing my 'bah humbug' hat, no doubt), but then... it's only for six weeks - eek!
Six weeks, and then I have to start a whole new life again for the second time in only a few months. Six weeks to my being free and single, and standing on my own two feet, and six weeks until I am saying goodbye to both T and to Nice Guy again, and for a much longer time.
That last gives me some very mixed feelings.
While I've been away, I have been in daily text, phone or email contact with NG, sometimes all of the above, and our discussions have been quite... interesting, to say the least. I just don't know how things will actually pan out when I am back there in person, as we are still supposed to be rather secretive about things, I think, because of the peculiar situation. I would like to spend a lot of time together (roughly, all of it), and try out many of the things that have been mentioned, but the practicality of it is something I don't know about. I guess that is something to work out when I get there, though, and NG knows how things work out there better than I do, so I will see what he thinks about things.
It will all be so odd - living with one man, seeing another, and having promised that I will keep a low profile for the next few weeks, effectively monogamous, even though I am technically single. Christmas could be a very strange time indeed, this year.
On the positive side of things, the existence of places like Coffee, Cake and Kink makes me feel better about leaving the Goldfish Bowl - all of the places I am looking to live and work are within relatively easy reach of London via public transport, so I could pop in for visits on weekends, at least. Very different to where I have been for the last few months. The people we got talking to on Saturday were fascinating, and for the first time in a very long while I had the feeling 'here is a place I belong'.
A and I arrived there at around five, intending to stop for a coffee and then head back to his for food. We got chatting to other customers, and ended up staying until after the place officially closed at 11pm. The people we were chatting to included a 'professional victim', a reluctant domme, two founder members of a university fetish society, and a bisexual/polyamorous rights activist (who is taking a break to study physics - my geek detector almost exploded at that point, I must confess!).
**edit*-oops, got that the wrong way around, our activist is already qualified in physics, and now studying psychotherapy, silly me!*
I left the place on an absolute high, with a pocketful of email addresses and a lot of fascinating new ideas, having been talking non-stop for many hours about an impressive range of topics, from literature, film, Broadway shows and kids cartoons to the intricacies of electro-play, the correct use of a bull-whip, and whether or not there is a real need for safe-words in BDSM, to well, all sorts of fascinating things. We were still nattering when we left, and could probably have gone on for many more hours even after we had to split off in different directions at the tube station.
It was a good few more hours until sleep, A and I stopped for food on the way back to his house, and had finished eating and watched most of a film before A decided to play - and even after all that time I was still in the same near-orgasmic state I had been in since the conversation turned intellectual. By the time we finally slept I was on a high of a sort I had not achieved in many, many years. Just a shame we aren't really suited as a couple - the man doesn't even own a kettle!
When I move back, I will be taking all my friends to CCK, or at least all of the open-minded ones, anyway. Actually, I think I will take all of them - the rest clearly need a bit of a shock!
I have already had emails from two of the people I met there, and have just sent off a message myself to a third. Hoping there will be many positive consequences of that wonderful evening yet to come.
Some (very) random quotes:
"Stop throwing dildos at me! "
"Does it count if you're not conscious?"
"We used to call her Snow White and the Seven Dorks"
"... gonads felt up by anyone."
"What?"
"We were talking about the Pope."
"The lady who owns the gallery was my Grandmother's bisexual lover"
"It's basically a small, portable Tesla coil..."
"I realised there was no hope for me when I found myself comparing monogamy with Windows"
"Please do not lick the books"
I am both excited and nervous to be going back for the Goldfish Bowl - it's only for six weeks, while I pack up my things, look for jobs and flats online, and avoid seeing any relatives over the Christmas period (I will be wearing my 'bah humbug' hat, no doubt), but then... it's only for six weeks - eek!
Six weeks, and then I have to start a whole new life again for the second time in only a few months. Six weeks to my being free and single, and standing on my own two feet, and six weeks until I am saying goodbye to both T and to Nice Guy again, and for a much longer time.
That last gives me some very mixed feelings.
While I've been away, I have been in daily text, phone or email contact with NG, sometimes all of the above, and our discussions have been quite... interesting, to say the least. I just don't know how things will actually pan out when I am back there in person, as we are still supposed to be rather secretive about things, I think, because of the peculiar situation. I would like to spend a lot of time together (roughly, all of it), and try out many of the things that have been mentioned, but the practicality of it is something I don't know about. I guess that is something to work out when I get there, though, and NG knows how things work out there better than I do, so I will see what he thinks about things.
It will all be so odd - living with one man, seeing another, and having promised that I will keep a low profile for the next few weeks, effectively monogamous, even though I am technically single. Christmas could be a very strange time indeed, this year.
On the positive side of things, the existence of places like Coffee, Cake and Kink makes me feel better about leaving the Goldfish Bowl - all of the places I am looking to live and work are within relatively easy reach of London via public transport, so I could pop in for visits on weekends, at least. Very different to where I have been for the last few months. The people we got talking to on Saturday were fascinating, and for the first time in a very long while I had the feeling 'here is a place I belong'.
A and I arrived there at around five, intending to stop for a coffee and then head back to his for food. We got chatting to other customers, and ended up staying until after the place officially closed at 11pm. The people we were chatting to included a 'professional victim', a reluctant domme, two founder members of a university fetish society, and a bisexual/polyamorous rights activist (who is taking a break to study physics - my geek detector almost exploded at that point, I must confess!).
**edit*-oops, got that the wrong way around, our activist is already qualified in physics, and now studying psychotherapy, silly me!*
I left the place on an absolute high, with a pocketful of email addresses and a lot of fascinating new ideas, having been talking non-stop for many hours about an impressive range of topics, from literature, film, Broadway shows and kids cartoons to the intricacies of electro-play, the correct use of a bull-whip, and whether or not there is a real need for safe-words in BDSM, to well, all sorts of fascinating things. We were still nattering when we left, and could probably have gone on for many more hours even after we had to split off in different directions at the tube station.
It was a good few more hours until sleep, A and I stopped for food on the way back to his house, and had finished eating and watched most of a film before A decided to play - and even after all that time I was still in the same near-orgasmic state I had been in since the conversation turned intellectual. By the time we finally slept I was on a high of a sort I had not achieved in many, many years. Just a shame we aren't really suited as a couple - the man doesn't even own a kettle!
When I move back, I will be taking all my friends to CCK, or at least all of the open-minded ones, anyway. Actually, I think I will take all of them - the rest clearly need a bit of a shock!
I have already had emails from two of the people I met there, and have just sent off a message myself to a third. Hoping there will be many positive consequences of that wonderful evening yet to come.
Some (very) random quotes:
"Stop throwing dildos at me! "
"Does it count if you're not conscious?"
"We used to call her Snow White and the Seven Dorks"
"... gonads felt up by anyone."
"What?"
"We were talking about the Pope."
"The lady who owns the gallery was my Grandmother's bisexual lover"
"It's basically a small, portable Tesla coil..."
"I realised there was no hope for me when I found myself comparing monogamy with Windows"
"Please do not lick the books"
posted by Miss Scarlet at 11:59 pm
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