Bouncing Back
I have just had the best night out since I got to this middle-of-nowhere place. Got a couple of friends from back home who have out to visit, and since they had been asking if they would get to meet NG while they were out here, I decided on the spur of the moment to invite a bunch of friends out for dinner for the evening. The girls were on top form, and we had a fantastically giggly dinner, with R cheerfully putting her foot in every conversational hole available with a grace that only she has, and the rest of us looking on in awe and laughter, and encouraging a few more, and T was witty as ever, just to remind me why I love him. NG said he had not had so much fun sober in years, and Miss Sunshine says she can see why I like him, which is lovely - it is always nice when one's friends like each other.
We came back and had drinks at our house, and I sat back and listened happily to NG and T talk enthusiastic geek for about an hour - bliss!
T seems so very happy and confident as compared to just over a week ago, I am still finding it hard to trust the change. I am scared of being back where I was before, and even closer to Christmas without a job or a home to go to. At least now my friendship with NG here is a bit more out in the open, I think I could stay there as a stop-gap without quite so much gossip stirring, which is better, but it is not a permanent option, by any means.
Nothing much more to say tonight - I am happy, and desperately hoping that things stay as they are. Though I know I need to talk to T about finances - after all, things are not 100% sorted out, and the big almost break-up last week led me to realise that there are things we need to work out again for my own peace of mind.
I am optimistic, however, and hoping that things will work out for the good. I am starting to love it here, despite the goldfish bowl, I have new friends, I have career potential, I have new hobbies. I guess I just needed contact with my old friends to feel like myself again.
Planning a trip back to see the rest of them in a month's time, hopefully people here to visit at Christmas, and then I will go back for a longer tour in the summer if I can, to where I really can be myself. It is a compromise, but it means I get to be with T, and that is worth some compromise, I think.
We came back and had drinks at our house, and I sat back and listened happily to NG and T talk enthusiastic geek for about an hour - bliss!
T seems so very happy and confident as compared to just over a week ago, I am still finding it hard to trust the change. I am scared of being back where I was before, and even closer to Christmas without a job or a home to go to. At least now my friendship with NG here is a bit more out in the open, I think I could stay there as a stop-gap without quite so much gossip stirring, which is better, but it is not a permanent option, by any means.
Nothing much more to say tonight - I am happy, and desperately hoping that things stay as they are. Though I know I need to talk to T about finances - after all, things are not 100% sorted out, and the big almost break-up last week led me to realise that there are things we need to work out again for my own peace of mind.
I am optimistic, however, and hoping that things will work out for the good. I am starting to love it here, despite the goldfish bowl, I have new friends, I have career potential, I have new hobbies. I guess I just needed contact with my old friends to feel like myself again.
Planning a trip back to see the rest of them in a month's time, hopefully people here to visit at Christmas, and then I will go back for a longer tour in the summer if I can, to where I really can be myself. It is a compromise, but it means I get to be with T, and that is worth some compromise, I think.
posted by Miss Scarlet at 10:52 pm
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