I do make things hard for myself.

In which another mistake comes back to bite me.

I must work on my patience, clearly. This includes not pushing people into things simply because I don't want to wait, not sulking when I don't get my way, and taking more time to check people out before I get involved in anything.

The other week, I was having a bit of a night out at the pub, I was still with T, but things were rocky, and I was feeling frustrated and tipsy, so when the power went off I went back down and had a bit of a flirt with a guy I had been talking to the previous week. Wasn't planning on anything of the sort, but my judgement had clearly switched off, and one thing managed to lead to another. Didn't break any rules, but I certainly did more than I planned. Morning arrived, thought 'hmm, that was a bad idea', and moved on.

Unfortunately it turns out the guy was a bit of a bastard, and Nice Guy overheard him actually boasting about his experiences in a public place. Yuck. Even if we were not in a goldfish bowl environment that would be bloody rude.

So I have had to talk to T about it, just to warn in case he finds people whispering, which is not a nice thing to have to do, but was better that he heard it from me first rather than someone else. I must admit, I hadn't told him in the first place that it happened, which might have been a better plan, but really with everything else that was going on, it was just such a tiny thing in a pile of bigger ones, that it got dropped to the bottom of the pile.

And I have had to face NG looking disappointed at me, as well. He was under the impression that it was just him and T, at least at the moment, so finding out otherwise by overhearing this guy was a bit of a shock to the system, I think. It really hadn't occurred to me that he'd want to know. The fact that the guy turned out to be a complete tosspot as well - doesn't say much for my recent judgement, sadly. He had said to me I ought to get another playmate, anyway, to avoid 'wearing him out', so I was in process of looking.

I am learning late that not everyone in the world is as they seem, and not everyone is intelligent or nice. I must also learn to make sure people are trustworthy before I go off with them. Or learn to give a false name (oops, hehe, I just cannot do a whole self-deprecating post without being tongue in cheek somewhere).

Must do better.

So as things stand, I am definitely single, but keeping it fairly low key not to make things more complicated. T and I are not sleeping together. NG is taking things slow, or at least slower than I would be, and I can understand that. He doesn't want to complicate things either, even if T does say I can do whatever I want as long as it's not in his house. I don't mind too much. First and foremost, he is a friend, and a very good man to know, and anything else is really a bonus.
Plus I have a suspicion that he's worth waiting for, even if it is many months down the line.

I will likely be staying here til Christmas, apart from the fortnight's holiday back home (less than two weeks away now), and I don't see much changing between now and then.

A good time to start working on my patience then. And maybe to get a new vibrator.