Give me that telephone book, damnit!
In which I am screaming silently with frustration.
Well, there goes my four day limit, sailing blithely by like a swan floating along a cool, crisp and swift-moving river. Unfortunately, like the swan, all is turmoil beneath the surface. It is years since I went this long without sex, or at least some sort of close contact, and I don't think I have been without an alternative (that is, some way to please myself) since puberty. Eek!
Gosh oh gosh oh gosh, how am I going to cope with being single? I am wanting to smash crockery and destroy the universe already. Not to mention tear the clothes off certain people and rub myself against them frantically.
Things are very definitely not helped by the fact that my right hand is out of action (I sprained it badly the other day) - of all the things I have managed to train myself to do left handed, self-pleasure is not one of them. I think I may just have the worst timing in the world. Too-Much-Information this may be, but try as I might earlier I could not get myself off. I will have to have another go later though, or I really will be screaming at people tomorrow. I could possibly cope with the lack of sex if I had an alternative release, but this is just too much.
T is gorgeous, but aloof, and I have promised myself no more post breakup sex unless he makes the first move. He has said yes the last couple of times I have asked, but I just lose a little more self respect each time I do. Yes, sex might be my reason for being, but I still believe I should control it and not vice versa, and simply going for the nearest available person - that is not respectful of either of us. I still very much love T, and want to be certain that we are playing for his pleasure too, not just mine.
Same goes for Nice Guy, too. I am trying desperately hard not to pressure, despite being turned on as anything whenever we're in the same room. I have made the mistake before of presuming that someone else wanted sex, or even just physical closeness as much as I did, and accidentally making it seem like a chore rather than a joy to be shared. I have so much to give though, I feel like just overflowing all over the place.
At least I have shared virtual hugs and kisses with Duchess, with the promise of real ones in person when I get back there in a few weeks time. It is such a lovely thing, just to be close to someone that way. Especially someone as inwardly and outwardly lovely as she is. I am so glad to know her, and indeed all of my friends, near and far. They remind me that the world is not such a bad place after all. (You too, J - I know you'll read this - virtual hugs will have to keep sufficing until we meet in person, but I am sure we will one day)
I will be optimistic about this - I am sure the release of all this tension, when it comes, will be nothing short of ecstatic.
Well, there goes my four day limit, sailing blithely by like a swan floating along a cool, crisp and swift-moving river. Unfortunately, like the swan, all is turmoil beneath the surface. It is years since I went this long without sex, or at least some sort of close contact, and I don't think I have been without an alternative (that is, some way to please myself) since puberty. Eek!
Gosh oh gosh oh gosh, how am I going to cope with being single? I am wanting to smash crockery and destroy the universe already. Not to mention tear the clothes off certain people and rub myself against them frantically.
Things are very definitely not helped by the fact that my right hand is out of action (I sprained it badly the other day) - of all the things I have managed to train myself to do left handed, self-pleasure is not one of them. I think I may just have the worst timing in the world. Too-Much-Information this may be, but try as I might earlier I could not get myself off. I will have to have another go later though, or I really will be screaming at people tomorrow. I could possibly cope with the lack of sex if I had an alternative release, but this is just too much.
T is gorgeous, but aloof, and I have promised myself no more post breakup sex unless he makes the first move. He has said yes the last couple of times I have asked, but I just lose a little more self respect each time I do. Yes, sex might be my reason for being, but I still believe I should control it and not vice versa, and simply going for the nearest available person - that is not respectful of either of us. I still very much love T, and want to be certain that we are playing for his pleasure too, not just mine.
Same goes for Nice Guy, too. I am trying desperately hard not to pressure, despite being turned on as anything whenever we're in the same room. I have made the mistake before of presuming that someone else wanted sex, or even just physical closeness as much as I did, and accidentally making it seem like a chore rather than a joy to be shared. I have so much to give though, I feel like just overflowing all over the place.
At least I have shared virtual hugs and kisses with Duchess, with the promise of real ones in person when I get back there in a few weeks time. It is such a lovely thing, just to be close to someone that way. Especially someone as inwardly and outwardly lovely as she is. I am so glad to know her, and indeed all of my friends, near and far. They remind me that the world is not such a bad place after all. (You too, J - I know you'll read this - virtual hugs will have to keep sufficing until we meet in person, but I am sure we will one day)
I will be optimistic about this - I am sure the release of all this tension, when it comes, will be nothing short of ecstatic.
posted by Miss Scarlet at 11:04 pm
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