A change is as good as a rest?
I hope so, because I've had a change, but it sure isn't restful right at the moment.
So I flew back to the country I call home on Tuesday. Nice Guy drovee me to the airport, and we stopped for a picnic on the beach before I got on the plane, which was gorgeous, and rather poignant. Since getting back though I have hardly had a minute to myself, which I suppose is a good thing.
Duchess did meet me from the airport on Tuesday night, and I was so tired I simply crashed and fell asleep as soon as she left. Optimus came to see me on wednesday, who I met in CCK and have been talking to online since. It was nice to see him again in person, but somewhat tiring. He helped me shop for things for my new room though, which was much appreciated. He left on thursday night, and then came a call from Rocketman to say he was nearby and had missed his train home, so could he stay? So my sofa was occupied another night, and it wasn't until friday I actually got some serious alone time, and lovely as my friends are, it was a relief just to be able to lounge around the house for a bit without having to be sociable.
Saturday I hopped on a coach to see Miss Sunshine and Scaredycat (previously known as 'S'), and it was lovely, and inclusive of tea and bacon, but a bit rushed, and I was glad to get home again.
First moment I actually felt lonely was saturday night. I had managed to damage myself a few days before leaving the Goldfish Bowl, and it had all looked to be healing well until saturday night when i got home and things suddenly took a turn for the worse. There I was in casualty, on my own, and with nobody close to turn to.
Duchess was away for the weekend, T was in the right country, but incommunicado (and if I am honest not great in a crisis anyway) and Nice Guy a plane flight away. Guess this is the downside of wanting to be out on your own - when things go wrong, you are indeed on your own. Still, all was ok in the end, and Nice Guy talked to me on the phone for about an hour, which made me feel a heck of a lot better.
I am missing Nice Guy like crazy. Had really been getting used to seeing him on a daily basis, and it is hard to be without that so suddenly, even though I knew it was coming. We've been keeping in contact by text and phone, to the point where I am worrying about his phone bill, but he tells me I'm worth it. It would be so nice just to be closer though.
Rather as predicted, I am fighting the urge to move back into coupledom. I do love NG, and indeed finally voiced it on the way out of the Goldfish Bowl, but I am also very aware that I need to keep a firm grip on my independence, both financial and emotional, and I think things need to be taken slowly. He is still considering how he feels about polyamory, and I am reading back through my old diaries to remind myself of the issues I have had with the alternative. I do still feel I need to stick to being single for the year, at least in the sense of not having any sort of conditions imposed on me by anyone else (other than obvious safety ones).
Still, the possibility of a visit in early feb was mentioned last night, and it is rather tempting. Especially as I am still healing. A week or so of not being entirely on my own looking after myself rather appeals at the moment. Much to think about.
T is back here as well at the moment, on business, and we both had dinner with my family last night. It felt just like old times, except for the fact he didn't stay over. Things seem to be getting easier between us now, it doesn't feel quite so strange. We are going out tonight for a pub quiz with the old crowd, Busybee and others, and I am staying over afterwards. We never really got to have goodbye sex before I left the Goldfish Bowl thanks to some 'female issues', so tonight will probably be the substitute for that.
Will be popping to see Hobbit (my other ex, previously C) this afternoon before the pub, and the much beloved Busybee has offered me dinner tomorrow, and then I have a meal out on wednesday with my family, it is looking to be quite a busy week again. Then it is back to the city on thursday, and an evening's rest before my Gay Fiancee takes me out on the Friday. At some point I will need to start looking for work, as well. Wish me luck!
So I flew back to the country I call home on Tuesday. Nice Guy drovee me to the airport, and we stopped for a picnic on the beach before I got on the plane, which was gorgeous, and rather poignant. Since getting back though I have hardly had a minute to myself, which I suppose is a good thing.
Duchess did meet me from the airport on Tuesday night, and I was so tired I simply crashed and fell asleep as soon as she left. Optimus came to see me on wednesday, who I met in CCK and have been talking to online since. It was nice to see him again in person, but somewhat tiring. He helped me shop for things for my new room though, which was much appreciated. He left on thursday night, and then came a call from Rocketman to say he was nearby and had missed his train home, so could he stay? So my sofa was occupied another night, and it wasn't until friday I actually got some serious alone time, and lovely as my friends are, it was a relief just to be able to lounge around the house for a bit without having to be sociable.
Saturday I hopped on a coach to see Miss Sunshine and Scaredycat (previously known as 'S'), and it was lovely, and inclusive of tea and bacon, but a bit rushed, and I was glad to get home again.
First moment I actually felt lonely was saturday night. I had managed to damage myself a few days before leaving the Goldfish Bowl, and it had all looked to be healing well until saturday night when i got home and things suddenly took a turn for the worse. There I was in casualty, on my own, and with nobody close to turn to.
Duchess was away for the weekend, T was in the right country, but incommunicado (and if I am honest not great in a crisis anyway) and Nice Guy a plane flight away. Guess this is the downside of wanting to be out on your own - when things go wrong, you are indeed on your own. Still, all was ok in the end, and Nice Guy talked to me on the phone for about an hour, which made me feel a heck of a lot better.
I am missing Nice Guy like crazy. Had really been getting used to seeing him on a daily basis, and it is hard to be without that so suddenly, even though I knew it was coming. We've been keeping in contact by text and phone, to the point where I am worrying about his phone bill, but he tells me I'm worth it. It would be so nice just to be closer though.
Rather as predicted, I am fighting the urge to move back into coupledom. I do love NG, and indeed finally voiced it on the way out of the Goldfish Bowl, but I am also very aware that I need to keep a firm grip on my independence, both financial and emotional, and I think things need to be taken slowly. He is still considering how he feels about polyamory, and I am reading back through my old diaries to remind myself of the issues I have had with the alternative. I do still feel I need to stick to being single for the year, at least in the sense of not having any sort of conditions imposed on me by anyone else (other than obvious safety ones).
Still, the possibility of a visit in early feb was mentioned last night, and it is rather tempting. Especially as I am still healing. A week or so of not being entirely on my own looking after myself rather appeals at the moment. Much to think about.
T is back here as well at the moment, on business, and we both had dinner with my family last night. It felt just like old times, except for the fact he didn't stay over. Things seem to be getting easier between us now, it doesn't feel quite so strange. We are going out tonight for a pub quiz with the old crowd, Busybee and others, and I am staying over afterwards. We never really got to have goodbye sex before I left the Goldfish Bowl thanks to some 'female issues', so tonight will probably be the substitute for that.
Will be popping to see Hobbit (my other ex, previously C) this afternoon before the pub, and the much beloved Busybee has offered me dinner tomorrow, and then I have a meal out on wednesday with my family, it is looking to be quite a busy week again. Then it is back to the city on thursday, and an evening's rest before my Gay Fiancee takes me out on the Friday. At some point I will need to start looking for work, as well. Wish me luck!
posted by Miss Scarlet at 1:21 pm
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