Old flames and new boots.
A number of blasts from the past in the last day or two, some old feelings, some new ones, a new experience or two. Missing people.
As I said to Nice Guy a while back, I am, in my way, quite faithful to my loves - once I make a space in my life for a person, it is always there. That space may grow, or shrink, but it has never yet disappeared entirely. Once a friend, once a love, always a love. For better or for worse, as it were. So I have been thinking of the people I have loved and lost, or loved and simply lost contact with, either permanently of temporarily.
People I miss: Thespian, Scaredycat, Miss Anthropist, Pianist, my Gay Fiancée, Cad, Vampira and Busybee are all on the list, some of whom I have simply lost contact with through being disorganised, so I do hope to reconnect with soon. Others are more permanently separated, as is T, who I have realised lately I am missing more than I was letting on to myself. I am admittedly obsessed with NG, and distracting myself with many other things, but four and a half years doesn't go by without leaving a big gap in one's life. I do rather wish I was living nearer to where T was, so at least I could go around and have dinner occasionally. I miss his rumpled style, his wit, the in-jokes and habits we shared. I just plain miss *him*. Maybe someday we will slot back into each others' lives in some way. It's nice to think so, anyway.
I did talk to Scaredycat again this morning - he is having a bit of a crisis in relationship terms, which makes me hurt for him - I had been so happy to see him happy before. I really do hope it works out for the better. I am going to visit with him on saturday and talk to him more, and offer hugs. I would offer more if he were single, but in some ways I am hoping that won't be the case. I loved seeing him in love.
A certain imperious lady friend of mine had her birthday yesterday, too, and came to visit me today- I had promised to cook her dinner for it. It has been a few months since we had any time alone together, and things have been somewhat stressed between us. Had a somewhat inauspicious start thanks to a misunderstanding, but we managed to break the ice again, and I gave her a good spanking for having not looked after my boots properly (the ones I had been planning to wear to Torture Garden, but got damaged whilst in her care), which I must admit was rather satisfying. She also came into quite close contact with the replacements, in a way I wouldn't have initially considered, but turned out to be rather fun- being kinky certainly has it's positives in terms of being able to work tension out on other people!
I have plans to see Miss Sunshine at the weekend, and Lawyer, whom I love despite his being scum (*winks to you, hun if you are are reading this*), Duchess I am meeting again in Dullsville, as we both happen to be there on Monday, and Optimus and Mountain in the first week or so of next month. Then it will only be a couple of weeks left before I go to stay with NG in the Goldfish Bowl for four weeks. Looking at all these names I do wonder if I am overextending myself, but I always do seem to prefer my life to be brimming over rather than near empty.
Lastly, after getting home from my first wrestling practise, which was fantastic fun, last night I posted a piece of romantic poetry in my other blog*, something I haven't attempted in years.
I posted a love poem for Nice Guy, because I was thinking about him, because I wanted him to know how I was feeling, perhaps also because the current state of affairs is a little unusual and I wanted to remind him that even though I am not about to commit to monogamy, I still feel what has grown between us very deeply.
Am I feeling jealous? He has a lady staying with him at the moment who he was friends with a long time ago but has not seen in person for a long time, and i know they have been flirting online somewhat lately - so I check with myself to see if I am feeling threatened - it isn't unheard of, after all - the partner who is used to running around while their significant other stays at home gets suddenly upset when the tables are turned. In fact, I find I would love for them to connect. There is nothing lovelier than seeing someone I love happy, whether with me or someone else. I guess I just wanted to make it clear that whatever happens, I feel this way about him.
It is heart-warming as well to actually be loving someone who appreciates and responds to sensual things and romantic gestures, something that fell rather flat with all of my male exes -more proof that NG is a man with a female brain, or just a consequence of having dated geeks? It is lovely, whatever the reason.
I will be away for the weekend now, so likely that there will be no more posts until Monday evening at the earliest.
Have a good few days, all
xxx
Red.
*If you don't know about it, feel free to email me for details: ascarletwoman@gmail.com
As I said to Nice Guy a while back, I am, in my way, quite faithful to my loves - once I make a space in my life for a person, it is always there. That space may grow, or shrink, but it has never yet disappeared entirely. Once a friend, once a love, always a love. For better or for worse, as it were. So I have been thinking of the people I have loved and lost, or loved and simply lost contact with, either permanently of temporarily.
People I miss: Thespian, Scaredycat, Miss Anthropist, Pianist, my Gay Fiancée, Cad, Vampira and Busybee are all on the list, some of whom I have simply lost contact with through being disorganised, so I do hope to reconnect with soon. Others are more permanently separated, as is T, who I have realised lately I am missing more than I was letting on to myself. I am admittedly obsessed with NG, and distracting myself with many other things, but four and a half years doesn't go by without leaving a big gap in one's life. I do rather wish I was living nearer to where T was, so at least I could go around and have dinner occasionally. I miss his rumpled style, his wit, the in-jokes and habits we shared. I just plain miss *him*. Maybe someday we will slot back into each others' lives in some way. It's nice to think so, anyway.
I did talk to Scaredycat again this morning - he is having a bit of a crisis in relationship terms, which makes me hurt for him - I had been so happy to see him happy before. I really do hope it works out for the better. I am going to visit with him on saturday and talk to him more, and offer hugs. I would offer more if he were single, but in some ways I am hoping that won't be the case. I loved seeing him in love.
A certain imperious lady friend of mine had her birthday yesterday, too, and came to visit me today- I had promised to cook her dinner for it. It has been a few months since we had any time alone together, and things have been somewhat stressed between us. Had a somewhat inauspicious start thanks to a misunderstanding, but we managed to break the ice again, and I gave her a good spanking for having not looked after my boots properly (the ones I had been planning to wear to Torture Garden, but got damaged whilst in her care), which I must admit was rather satisfying. She also came into quite close contact with the replacements, in a way I wouldn't have initially considered, but turned out to be rather fun- being kinky certainly has it's positives in terms of being able to work tension out on other people!
I have plans to see Miss Sunshine at the weekend, and Lawyer, whom I love despite his being scum (*winks to you, hun if you are are reading this*), Duchess I am meeting again in Dullsville, as we both happen to be there on Monday, and Optimus and Mountain in the first week or so of next month. Then it will only be a couple of weeks left before I go to stay with NG in the Goldfish Bowl for four weeks. Looking at all these names I do wonder if I am overextending myself, but I always do seem to prefer my life to be brimming over rather than near empty.
Lastly, after getting home from my first wrestling practise, which was fantastic fun, last night I posted a piece of romantic poetry in my other blog*, something I haven't attempted in years.
I posted a love poem for Nice Guy, because I was thinking about him, because I wanted him to know how I was feeling, perhaps also because the current state of affairs is a little unusual and I wanted to remind him that even though I am not about to commit to monogamy, I still feel what has grown between us very deeply.
Am I feeling jealous? He has a lady staying with him at the moment who he was friends with a long time ago but has not seen in person for a long time, and i know they have been flirting online somewhat lately - so I check with myself to see if I am feeling threatened - it isn't unheard of, after all - the partner who is used to running around while their significant other stays at home gets suddenly upset when the tables are turned. In fact, I find I would love for them to connect. There is nothing lovelier than seeing someone I love happy, whether with me or someone else. I guess I just wanted to make it clear that whatever happens, I feel this way about him.
It is heart-warming as well to actually be loving someone who appreciates and responds to sensual things and romantic gestures, something that fell rather flat with all of my male exes -more proof that NG is a man with a female brain, or just a consequence of having dated geeks? It is lovely, whatever the reason.
I will be away for the weekend now, so likely that there will be no more posts until Monday evening at the earliest.
Have a good few days, all
xxx
Red.
*If you don't know about it, feel free to email me for details: ascarletwoman@gmail.com
posted by Miss Scarlet at 11:17 pm
1 Comments:
your diary is very like mine, it seems, constantly catching up with friends. I tend to think it's worth the effort and the time, and it's much much better than sitting at home wishing you were catching up with them!
xXx
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