Wow, where did February go?
So the last fortnight has been another eventful one. - My gosh I have been too busy doing to blog about it! I have found a new place to rent, (furnished, with the most perfect bed for bondage, a glorious wall feature made of branches, and sexy polished wood floor!) and moved in.
I went to the friends of Coffee, Cake and Kink meeting and picked up some temporary work, which has been handy, and will be back next week to do some voluntary work there to help out - I swear, I will be moving in at some point!
Went to Cambridge to hear Optimus play in a concert, and had my first experience of electroplay - oh my gosh that was intense! I seem to have altered his perceptions a bit lately, and he has gone from believing that monogamy was the best option for him to realising that in fact, we are in a polyamorous relationship of sorts and it suits him just fine - he wrote some rather flattering things about me in his own blog (which for reasons of privacy I won't link to, however).
Met my chocolate loving friend again for dinner a couple of times (true to form, he cooked me steak with dark chocolate sauce - very tasty!) - I am meeting his significant other for the first time at the weekend, as we are all three going to Torture Garden, which will be my first time - this is the first wardrobe crisis I have had in years, as I don't have any real fetish wear, and all my more theatrical clothing is still residing in the Goldfish Bowl with T where I can't get at it in time. Also the boots I was planning to wear have been living with Duchess since December, and apparently have unfortunately broken whilst they were in her keeping, so I really am not sure what to replace them with that isn't going to cost me more than I can afford to spend. Especially between now and Saturday!
I am a bit nervous about meeting the S.O. concerned - partly because she has apparently been rather worried about his involvement with me - she is very new to the concept of polyamory, and I am very much hoping to both make a good impression, and set any fears at rest that she may have at the same time - I am not interested in stealing her partner, more in adding to what they already have!
Looking forward hugely to next friday, when I get to see my beloved Nice Guy again (*starting to think he might need a less generic nickname, now that he is a long-term fixture- Hunnymonster may be appearing in his stead in the coming weeks!)
- there has been a lot of discussion over the status and state of our our relationship over the last two weeks.
NG used the 'L word' for the first time without qualifiers, which I think came as something of a relief, and I have started wondering what I actually really mean by the word 'single', anyway.
At the moment I seem to be having my cake and eating it as well - I am single so far as I have no limits on my behaviour other than self-imposed ones, but I have all the support and the fluffy feelings that come from being in a relationship - actually in my mind, this is polyamory.
The love and acceptance of people exactly as they are, as they fit into your life and vice versa, without trying to mould things into anything else.
We still have a lot to discuss - he is not used to the idea of poly, and is still uncomfortable with some aspects of it. There has been a lot of talking, a lot of long phone calls and late night messaging, and a lot of reassurance needed on both sides.
On his part needing help dealing with insecurities and fears brought to light by my now starting to see other new people, having been accidentally monogamous whilst in the Goldfish Bowl, by the change in situation and the struggle of his being stuck back there while I am living the life I want to in the City.
On my side, fears that I am going to end up in another situation like I ended up in with T, where I started out in a very much open relationship, moved in together by accident and found myself edged into monogamy after he realised we were 'serious', with painful and disastrous results when I tried to move things back the way I really wanted and needed them to be.
I am determined to stick to my year of freedom, and he wants very much to support me in this, even if it gets a bit uncomfortable at times - the fact that he believes I am worth the effort is rather touching, and I love him all the more for it.
What's to come next year? That's a thing to decide many months down the line, but I hope it will involve much more time for us to be together, and love, and freedom, and well... I am far too old to believe in happy ever afters, but it would be nice to think of a good many years of honesty, openness and caring for each other.
Right now, though, I am as single as I need to be, and living life to the full, and this is good. I will attempt to blog more often, just to keep up with things, but I know the next few weeks are going to be equally hectic. I haven't forgotten about you though!
Carmine
x
I went to the friends of Coffee, Cake and Kink meeting and picked up some temporary work, which has been handy, and will be back next week to do some voluntary work there to help out - I swear, I will be moving in at some point!
Went to Cambridge to hear Optimus play in a concert, and had my first experience of electroplay - oh my gosh that was intense! I seem to have altered his perceptions a bit lately, and he has gone from believing that monogamy was the best option for him to realising that in fact, we are in a polyamorous relationship of sorts and it suits him just fine - he wrote some rather flattering things about me in his own blog (which for reasons of privacy I won't link to, however).
Met my chocolate loving friend again for dinner a couple of times (true to form, he cooked me steak with dark chocolate sauce - very tasty!) - I am meeting his significant other for the first time at the weekend, as we are all three going to Torture Garden, which will be my first time - this is the first wardrobe crisis I have had in years, as I don't have any real fetish wear, and all my more theatrical clothing is still residing in the Goldfish Bowl with T where I can't get at it in time. Also the boots I was planning to wear have been living with Duchess since December, and apparently have unfortunately broken whilst they were in her keeping, so I really am not sure what to replace them with that isn't going to cost me more than I can afford to spend. Especially between now and Saturday!
I am a bit nervous about meeting the S.O. concerned - partly because she has apparently been rather worried about his involvement with me - she is very new to the concept of polyamory, and I am very much hoping to both make a good impression, and set any fears at rest that she may have at the same time - I am not interested in stealing her partner, more in adding to what they already have!
Looking forward hugely to next friday, when I get to see my beloved Nice Guy again (*starting to think he might need a less generic nickname, now that he is a long-term fixture- Hunnymonster may be appearing in his stead in the coming weeks!)
- there has been a lot of discussion over the status and state of our our relationship over the last two weeks.
NG used the 'L word' for the first time without qualifiers, which I think came as something of a relief, and I have started wondering what I actually really mean by the word 'single', anyway.
At the moment I seem to be having my cake and eating it as well - I am single so far as I have no limits on my behaviour other than self-imposed ones, but I have all the support and the fluffy feelings that come from being in a relationship - actually in my mind, this is polyamory.
The love and acceptance of people exactly as they are, as they fit into your life and vice versa, without trying to mould things into anything else.
We still have a lot to discuss - he is not used to the idea of poly, and is still uncomfortable with some aspects of it. There has been a lot of talking, a lot of long phone calls and late night messaging, and a lot of reassurance needed on both sides.
On his part needing help dealing with insecurities and fears brought to light by my now starting to see other new people, having been accidentally monogamous whilst in the Goldfish Bowl, by the change in situation and the struggle of his being stuck back there while I am living the life I want to in the City.
On my side, fears that I am going to end up in another situation like I ended up in with T, where I started out in a very much open relationship, moved in together by accident and found myself edged into monogamy after he realised we were 'serious', with painful and disastrous results when I tried to move things back the way I really wanted and needed them to be.
I am determined to stick to my year of freedom, and he wants very much to support me in this, even if it gets a bit uncomfortable at times - the fact that he believes I am worth the effort is rather touching, and I love him all the more for it.
What's to come next year? That's a thing to decide many months down the line, but I hope it will involve much more time for us to be together, and love, and freedom, and well... I am far too old to believe in happy ever afters, but it would be nice to think of a good many years of honesty, openness and caring for each other.
Right now, though, I am as single as I need to be, and living life to the full, and this is good. I will attempt to blog more often, just to keep up with things, but I know the next few weeks are going to be equally hectic. I haven't forgotten about you though!
Carmine
x
posted by Miss Scarlet at 10:23 pm
1 Comments:
I personally do believe in "Happy Ever After". Look at Tigger and me - perfect, shining, bouncing (dammit, but she's good at kissing ears) examples of it.
Glad you're well. Pop in for tea if you're around.
Zyg
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