Scorned woman? Not exactly!
So this afternoon I got a call from my lover to tell me that he had sex with another woman. How am I feeling?
Well first off, a little smug. Why? Because it was 100% clear to me that she had been flirting with him, even from a couple of thousand miles away, and like almost anyone, I do like to be proven right. They had gone away camping overnight in a shack in a the middle of nowhere with some friends, and I had in fact been nagging him to take condoms, despite his feeling that 'Nice Guys don't do that' - My personal feeling on that matter is that it's in fact the nice thing to do. What is it they teach you in Scouts? Always be prepared!
In fact it's my opinion that every person, gay or straight, monogamous or poly, partnered or celibate, *every* person should carry some sort of protection - worst case scenario, say you are at the hands of a rapist, you ask them to use a condom - if you haven't got one on you, they are going to rape you anyway, but if you are carrying, then maybe, just maybe they will take one and use it. Alternatively on a slightly happier and more probable note, even if you are not going to use it, maybe you can lend yours to someone who is caught short!
Realistically though, if there is even a 1% chance that you will be having sex, you should be prepared for it. Nothing more frustrating than the alternative.
Back on topic though - my favourite man just slept with another woman, am I really not bothered? Well, no. I'm a little amused at the shy voice he used to tell me about it, and a lot amused at how surprised he was at himself - 'but I'm a good boy!' Oh yes honey, I know you are - that's why you want to make people happy. That's why you enjoy making women come!
What else am I feeling? A little relieved - for him in that I had been wondering if his constant disbelief that women find him attractive was going to keep on getting in the way of things, and a little for myself because in a lot of ways it is easier to be in a polyamorous relationship if both of you benefit from it. I feel a little selfish for that last thought, but I know having tried desperately hard to be monogamous in the past that it simply doesn't suit me, and I really would like Nice Guy in my life for many years to come.
What else? I am intensely curious. I've not met the lady in person, though I have seen a couple of pictures, and chatted very briefly on webcam. I want to know what it was like - does she come like me? Does she make a lot of noise? Did they do anything that we don't, teach him any new tricks? Does she feel different to me? Will you do it again? Do I get to meet her? Does it make you feel different about her, about you, me, us? It's not that I want to interrogate, so I resisted firing the questions, I just get such a warm glow from people I care about enjoying themselves that I wanted to share in it vicariously. He already mentioned that she is apparently multi-orgasmic, so I am guessing she enjoyed herself - a thing that made me grin like a loon, quite frankly, because my beloved has no idea at all how great he is at sharing pleasure, and it is nice to actually have another woman back me up in that opinion.
So how do I feel about sharing my love? I can honestly say I am happy and glad, for him, for her and for all of us. I am wondering what it might mean for the future in the sense of will this be a short but pleasant fling, a lasting sexual friendship, a more complex relationship? I have nothing but optimistic thoughts on that front though, as I am certain that, even if we were to stop having a sexual relationship, NG would still be a part of my life, and I am happy seeing him happy. Even I'm a little surprised at that - I would be happily solo, as long as the people I cared about were happy.
In short, my most Significant Other had sex with someone else, and I am pleased.
As for myself? Well I woke up this morning in bed with my friend Miss Sunshine and her husband. We hadn't had sex, I was far too tired to play by the time we hit the sack last night, having been out to the theatre and then at Lawyer's house until late, but it was lovely just sharing three way hugs and being close, and I simply didn't feel the need to. We had tea and bacon sandwiches, and then the pair of them drove me to Dullsville to see my parents. I gave her a kiss goodbye without my mother noticing, or at least commenting. I am starting to consider coming out fully to my parents as poly - have already mentioned that NG and I are seeing each other, though we are 'not exclusive', which I think is the diplomatic way to put it. My friends have known for years, though. I will have a think about it and maybe do some research for tips to help with it.
Tomorrow I'm meeting Duchess in town for coffee, as by coincidence she's here visiting Busybee, and then we'll both be heading back to the City, where I'm meeting a woman about possibly doing some work for her in exchange for tickets to tantra workshops, and then the rest of the week looks to be a blur of activity as well. Will hopefully update soon - many an interesting thing happening at the moment, of which I have only mentioned a couple!
Rouge
x
Well first off, a little smug. Why? Because it was 100% clear to me that she had been flirting with him, even from a couple of thousand miles away, and like almost anyone, I do like to be proven right. They had gone away camping overnight in a shack in a the middle of nowhere with some friends, and I had in fact been nagging him to take condoms, despite his feeling that 'Nice Guys don't do that' - My personal feeling on that matter is that it's in fact the nice thing to do. What is it they teach you in Scouts? Always be prepared!
In fact it's my opinion that every person, gay or straight, monogamous or poly, partnered or celibate, *every* person should carry some sort of protection - worst case scenario, say you are at the hands of a rapist, you ask them to use a condom - if you haven't got one on you, they are going to rape you anyway, but if you are carrying, then maybe, just maybe they will take one and use it. Alternatively on a slightly happier and more probable note, even if you are not going to use it, maybe you can lend yours to someone who is caught short!
Realistically though, if there is even a 1% chance that you will be having sex, you should be prepared for it. Nothing more frustrating than the alternative.
Back on topic though - my favourite man just slept with another woman, am I really not bothered? Well, no. I'm a little amused at the shy voice he used to tell me about it, and a lot amused at how surprised he was at himself - 'but I'm a good boy!' Oh yes honey, I know you are - that's why you want to make people happy. That's why you enjoy making women come!
What else am I feeling? A little relieved - for him in that I had been wondering if his constant disbelief that women find him attractive was going to keep on getting in the way of things, and a little for myself because in a lot of ways it is easier to be in a polyamorous relationship if both of you benefit from it. I feel a little selfish for that last thought, but I know having tried desperately hard to be monogamous in the past that it simply doesn't suit me, and I really would like Nice Guy in my life for many years to come.
What else? I am intensely curious. I've not met the lady in person, though I have seen a couple of pictures, and chatted very briefly on webcam. I want to know what it was like - does she come like me? Does she make a lot of noise? Did they do anything that we don't, teach him any new tricks? Does she feel different to me? Will you do it again? Do I get to meet her? Does it make you feel different about her, about you, me, us? It's not that I want to interrogate, so I resisted firing the questions, I just get such a warm glow from people I care about enjoying themselves that I wanted to share in it vicariously. He already mentioned that she is apparently multi-orgasmic, so I am guessing she enjoyed herself - a thing that made me grin like a loon, quite frankly, because my beloved has no idea at all how great he is at sharing pleasure, and it is nice to actually have another woman back me up in that opinion.
So how do I feel about sharing my love? I can honestly say I am happy and glad, for him, for her and for all of us. I am wondering what it might mean for the future in the sense of will this be a short but pleasant fling, a lasting sexual friendship, a more complex relationship? I have nothing but optimistic thoughts on that front though, as I am certain that, even if we were to stop having a sexual relationship, NG would still be a part of my life, and I am happy seeing him happy. Even I'm a little surprised at that - I would be happily solo, as long as the people I cared about were happy.
In short, my most Significant Other had sex with someone else, and I am pleased.
As for myself? Well I woke up this morning in bed with my friend Miss Sunshine and her husband. We hadn't had sex, I was far too tired to play by the time we hit the sack last night, having been out to the theatre and then at Lawyer's house until late, but it was lovely just sharing three way hugs and being close, and I simply didn't feel the need to. We had tea and bacon sandwiches, and then the pair of them drove me to Dullsville to see my parents. I gave her a kiss goodbye without my mother noticing, or at least commenting. I am starting to consider coming out fully to my parents as poly - have already mentioned that NG and I are seeing each other, though we are 'not exclusive', which I think is the diplomatic way to put it. My friends have known for years, though. I will have a think about it and maybe do some research for tips to help with it.
Tomorrow I'm meeting Duchess in town for coffee, as by coincidence she's here visiting Busybee, and then we'll both be heading back to the City, where I'm meeting a woman about possibly doing some work for her in exchange for tickets to tantra workshops, and then the rest of the week looks to be a blur of activity as well. Will hopefully update soon - many an interesting thing happening at the moment, of which I have only mentioned a couple!
Rouge
x
posted by Miss Scarlet at 6:51 pm
2 Comments:
Nothing wrong with being curious. As you may be well aware of I'm quite curious too. You just have to find the right way and balance when it comes to milking information if he's not willing to share details voluntarily. Nobody likes it when you're too pushy. Though in some cases the direct approach works surprisingly well. And I totally understand the living vicariously thing. Since with certain aspects of life it's the only way I can experience some things at the moment.
Hmm, so here we are then.
You do have a reason to feel smug my love – you were right! Alley Cat was very interested – to the point of being VERY obvious about her desires in the morning!
You do have some sense of relief too as I have always said ‘Poly’ would work well if both partners were active and benefiting from it. There is a small ‘however’ in that I do feel somewhat pushed into things. I could have, very probably would have resisted Alley Cat had you not been quite so insistent that (a) she was interested and (b) that I should take condoms.
Were you subliminally seeking to get me started on the ‘other partners’ bit of ‘Poly’ perhaps – you DO admit to feeling a little selfish on this front? This is not a criticism but me wondering – the human mind can work this way at times.
As to wondering about how things were and being intensely curious, just ask! You know that I am open and straightforward - things were obviously different but …….. shy smile, I still love you!
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