Ups and Downs

So another week mostly gone. I'm on my way back to the Goldfish Bowl tomorrow, for Nice Guy's last week there. Looking forward to relaxing for a week having been overdoing it for a while now. Then he's moving to the City and will be living pretty much around the corner - fantastic in that we'll probably be saving a fortune in phone bills and travel. Perhaps not quite so good in terms of either of us getting anything done!

The weekend with Mountain was... well, mountainous - the weekend started on a bit of a low as we struggled to get out of the City, then got lost on the way to where we going, finally negotiating flooded roads to get to the swing club we were aiming at after midnight, and then realising we needed to go to a cashpoint before we could get in. Things started improving then, and we played some in the club which was enjoyable. Didn't involve anyone else - I tend to want to know people better before I play, and I gather so does he - but it was a pleasantly naughty feeling knowing that other people could watch.

Daytime on Saturday was very nice. We lay around in bed being decadent and eating unhealthy things (and falafel for breakfast, of all things...), and fruit salads, and generally relaxing. Things were feeling nice and airy, and we were looking forward to the costume party in the evening. Then a text arrives from his ex-girlfriend, Princess, to say she is going to be at the club, thus starting a long slow slide into misery. The least said about the rest of it the better, I think, except to say that the play we had both been looking forward to ended up turning into comforting hugs instead. I still have an open mind about swing clubs, but perhaps next time I will try playing less far afield - if things go wrong then it isn't quite so depressing to slink off home!

Sunday headed back to the City just in time to have lunch with Mountain's housemate and some friends, then a quick collapse on his sofa before running to Victoria to meet my little brother. He generously bought me dinner (a first, I think!), and we had a good natter about our love lives. I have been 'out' as poly to my brother for as long as I knew the word, and possibly longer, since he was very much in on the goings on back when I was at school and juggling a boyfriend and girlfriend at the same time.

The last three days I have been working all hours, since an important development came up at work, but they still saw me having deep discussion with Nice Guy, receiving more bad news from Mountain about going on in his life, and having a long chat with my mother on the phone about life, the universe and everything (annoyingly whilst i was trying to talk to NG, but she's very hard to get off the phone at times, and it *was* lovely). I'm moving towards coming out to my mum about being poly. She already knows I am seeing more than one guy. In principle, she is encouraging it - after all, I'm still young and should be 'playing the field'. The bits about my being into girls and BDSM as well, I might leave for later though! I always figured I would tell my parents as and when things became relevant. As my work and my hobbies get closer together though, it's starting to look like it might be sooner rather than later!

In other news, my Gay Fiancee has announced his plan to move to the City in eighteen months or so time, which will be rather lovely. Though it means he'll be finding money tight for a while - maybe I'll get to turn the tables and treat him to meals and nights out at some point! Duchess is still happily coupled, and it is nice to see her happy. Cad is not quite so - he's single again, and having a bit of a low in general. I'm feeling a bit guilty that I can barely spare an hour to comiserate over coffee, but I'm over-committed as ever.

Hopefully I'll manage to recharge somewhat over the next week, and come back to the City energetic and raring to go again.
Enjoy yourselves!
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Too busy to...

It's been crazy crazy again since I got back to the City. No time to sleep, no time to cook, hardly time to work, and definitely no time to blog. At the moment I am at Miss Anthropist's house, watching her sleep and stealing a few minutes online before I head to bed after her.

To backtrack a little, the date with Mountain that I mentioned was fun, but a little flat, since he was leaving for the airport at insane time in the morning, and we were both desperately tired
- neither of us quite at our best.

Seeing Optimus was good, and I was very glad I went, although we managed to rub each other the wrong way a little. We argued (very like siblings) on the Saturday morning, and though we sorted it out, in the end he was sweet enough to pay my train fare back to the city rather than have us both be feeling awkward in his car for two hours.
The birthday celebration for Lawyer was fantastic fun as well, though I wondered if I might have shocked some of his friends - I found myself suddenly explaining the tangle that is the love life of a single polyamorous woman to around six of them over dinner. Still, I saw a couple of 'gosh, I wonder if I could do that...' looks around the table, too.

The next few days were more work than play, and I wore myself out to the point where I found myself actually postponing a visit with Miss Sunshine and her husband, Gamer, just so that I could get some extra sleep and some me-time, knowing that it was going to be another burst of activity for at least a fortnight after that. I did get there in time for their anniversary party though, which was lovely, only marred by the fact that I had a sudden crisis with Nice Guy right in the middle of the party. I had forgotten to tell him I had arranged another date with Mountain, and was double-checking, and next thing I know we are deep in scary scary territory, he is hurting, scared, angry. I am trying to make it better but struggling because sometimes all you really need is to *be there* and we are many hundreds of miles apart physically, and it is killing me that he is hurting and trying so so hard not to be, and I can't even give him a hug.

Scorned woman? Not exactly!

So this afternoon I got a call from my lover to tell me that he had sex with another woman. How am I feeling?

Well first off, a little smug. Why? Because it was 100% clear to me that she had been flirting with him, even from a couple of thousand miles away, and like almost anyone, I do like to be proven right. They had gone away camping overnight in a shack in a the middle of nowhere with some friends, and I had in fact been nagging him to take condoms, despite his feeling that 'Nice Guys don't do that' - My personal feeling on that matter is that it's in fact the nice thing to do. What is it they teach you in Scouts? Always be prepared!

In fact it's my opinion that every person, gay or straight, monogamous or poly, partnered or celibate, *every* person should carry some sort of protection - worst case scenario, say you are at the hands of a rapist, you ask them to use a condom - if you haven't got one on you, they are going to rape you anyway, but if you are carrying, then maybe, just maybe they will take one and use it. Alternatively on a slightly happier and more probable note, even if you are not going to use it, maybe you can lend yours to someone who is caught short!
Realistically though, if there is even a 1% chance that you will be having sex, you should be prepared for it. Nothing more frustrating than the alternative.

Back on topic though - my favourite man just slept with another woman, am I really not bothered? Well, no. I'm a little amused at the shy voice he used to tell me about it, and a lot amused at how surprised he was at himself - 'but I'm a good boy!' Oh yes honey, I know you are - that's why you want to make people happy. That's why you enjoy making women come!

What else am I feeling? A little relieved - for him in that I had been wondering if his constant disbelief that women find him attractive was going to keep on getting in the way of things, and a little for myself because in a lot of ways it is easier to be in a polyamorous relationship if both of you benefit from it. I feel a little selfish for that last thought, but I know having tried desperately hard to be monogamous in the past that it simply doesn't suit me, and I really would like Nice Guy in my life for many years to come.

What else? I am intensely curious. I've not met the lady in person, though I have seen a couple of pictures, and chatted very briefly on webcam. I want to know what it was like - does she come like me? Does she make a lot of noise? Did they do anything that we don't, teach him any new tricks? Does she feel different to me? Will you do it again? Do I get to meet her? Does it make you feel different about her, about you, me, us? It's not that I want to interrogate, so I resisted firing the questions, I just get such a warm glow from people I care about enjoying themselves that I wanted to share in it vicariously. He already mentioned that she is apparently multi-orgasmic, so I am guessing she enjoyed herself - a thing that made me grin like a loon, quite frankly, because my beloved has no idea at all how great he is at sharing pleasure, and it is nice to actually have another woman back me up in that opinion.

So how do I feel about sharing my love? I can honestly say I am happy and glad, for him, for her and for all of us. I am wondering what it might mean for the future in the sense of will this be a short but pleasant fling, a lasting sexual friendship, a more complex relationship? I have nothing but optimistic thoughts on that front though, as I am certain that, even if we were to stop having a sexual relationship, NG would still be a part of my life, and I am happy seeing him happy. Even I'm a little surprised at that - I would be happily solo, as long as the people I cared about were happy.

In short, my most Significant Other had sex with someone else, and I am pleased.

As for myself? Well I woke up this morning in bed with my friend Miss Sunshine and her husband. We hadn't had sex, I was far too tired to play by the time we hit the sack last night, having been out to the theatre and then at Lawyer's house until late, but it was lovely just sharing three way hugs and being close, and I simply didn't feel the need to. We had tea and bacon sandwiches, and then the pair of them drove me to Dullsville to see my parents. I gave her a kiss goodbye without my mother noticing, or at least commenting. I am starting to consider coming out fully to my parents as poly - have already mentioned that NG and I are seeing each other, though we are 'not exclusive', which I think is the diplomatic way to put it. My friends have known for years, though. I will have a think about it and maybe do some research for tips to help with it.

Tomorrow I'm meeting Duchess in town for coffee, as by coincidence she's here visiting Busybee, and then we'll both be heading back to the City, where I'm meeting a woman about possibly doing some work for her in exchange for tickets to tantra workshops, and then the rest of the week looks to be a blur of activity as well. Will hopefully update soon - many an interesting thing happening at the moment, of which I have only mentioned a couple!

Rouge
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