Ups and Downs

So another week mostly gone. I'm on my way back to the Goldfish Bowl tomorrow, for Nice Guy's last week there. Looking forward to relaxing for a week having been overdoing it for a while now. Then he's moving to the City and will be living pretty much around the corner - fantastic in that we'll probably be saving a fortune in phone bills and travel. Perhaps not quite so good in terms of either of us getting anything done!

The weekend with Mountain was... well, mountainous - the weekend started on a bit of a low as we struggled to get out of the City, then got lost on the way to where we going, finally negotiating flooded roads to get to the swing club we were aiming at after midnight, and then realising we needed to go to a cashpoint before we could get in. Things started improving then, and we played some in the club which was enjoyable. Didn't involve anyone else - I tend to want to know people better before I play, and I gather so does he - but it was a pleasantly naughty feeling knowing that other people could watch.

Daytime on Saturday was very nice. We lay around in bed being decadent and eating unhealthy things (and falafel for breakfast, of all things...), and fruit salads, and generally relaxing. Things were feeling nice and airy, and we were looking forward to the costume party in the evening. Then a text arrives from his ex-girlfriend, Princess, to say she is going to be at the club, thus starting a long slow slide into misery. The least said about the rest of it the better, I think, except to say that the play we had both been looking forward to ended up turning into comforting hugs instead. I still have an open mind about swing clubs, but perhaps next time I will try playing less far afield - if things go wrong then it isn't quite so depressing to slink off home!

Sunday headed back to the City just in time to have lunch with Mountain's housemate and some friends, then a quick collapse on his sofa before running to Victoria to meet my little brother. He generously bought me dinner (a first, I think!), and we had a good natter about our love lives. I have been 'out' as poly to my brother for as long as I knew the word, and possibly longer, since he was very much in on the goings on back when I was at school and juggling a boyfriend and girlfriend at the same time.

The last three days I have been working all hours, since an important development came up at work, but they still saw me having deep discussion with Nice Guy, receiving more bad news from Mountain about going on in his life, and having a long chat with my mother on the phone about life, the universe and everything (annoyingly whilst i was trying to talk to NG, but she's very hard to get off the phone at times, and it *was* lovely). I'm moving towards coming out to my mum about being poly. She already knows I am seeing more than one guy. In principle, she is encouraging it - after all, I'm still young and should be 'playing the field'. The bits about my being into girls and BDSM as well, I might leave for later though! I always figured I would tell my parents as and when things became relevant. As my work and my hobbies get closer together though, it's starting to look like it might be sooner rather than later!

In other news, my Gay Fiancee has announced his plan to move to the City in eighteen months or so time, which will be rather lovely. Though it means he'll be finding money tight for a while - maybe I'll get to turn the tables and treat him to meals and nights out at some point! Duchess is still happily coupled, and it is nice to see her happy. Cad is not quite so - he's single again, and having a bit of a low in general. I'm feeling a bit guilty that I can barely spare an hour to comiserate over coffee, but I'm over-committed as ever.

Hopefully I'll manage to recharge somewhat over the next week, and come back to the City energetic and raring to go again.
Enjoy yourselves!
x

... keep track of when I'm posting...

I am rush-rush-rushed and typing this on the train whilst running late for work. It's been a knackering few weeks. Literally running from one thing to another, not getting enough sleep, being constantly worried, and trying to juggle too many social commitments. This morning thankfully I left on a warm and fluffy note, having given my Nice Guy a long distance verbal hug (a nice contrast to yesterday where I left almost in tears and with my stomach churning having rowed about a tiny little thing because we were both so overtired).

The 7th was Miss Sunshine and her husband's anniversary party, which I travelled south for, already tired from the week before but looking forward to the pleasant company. That started off fantastically well, all of our old friends there enjoying the weather and the barbecue and the good clean fun. Then I managed to put a foot wrong with Nice Guy whilst talking to him online, because I had forgotten to mention my date with Mountain in the middle of the week. We end up in a mire of emotional mess and I am left in tears on Miss Sunshine's bed - he is hurting, and I am hurting because he is and I am too far away to put it right. Miss Sunshine, Miss Anthropist, Tigger and Scaredycat are all there worrying about me, and that makes it worse because I am upset at worrying them too.

At any rate things got better, and then they got worse again, and then they got better. We had a long talk about my ‘year of single’ and how he will continue to support me in that, but that he is happy there might be some possibility of compromise at the end of the year. I say it is too early to think about that now - maybe we'll get to the end of the year and not even *need* to compromise.

Monday morning was spent at the airport waiting for Poet and her boyfriend to arrive - Poet is a lady I have known online for a couple of years but we had never met in person before. I had offered the pair of them my room to stay in for a week while they came to see the City, neither of them having enormous amounts of money to spend - a fine plan, slightly messed up by the fact that my spare bed, which was in transit from the Goldfish Bowl failed to arrive in time. We managed, but it made things a little more stressful than they would have been otherwise.

The rest of the week was just a blur. Cad came back with us the first night, having met up in town and we ended up sleeping on sofas, then a night off spent on webcam with NG, knowing he's needing more time at the moment, then a date with Mountain overnight (very pleasant), then work, then going away for the weekend to stay with Miss Anthropist for her birthday - had it's ups and downs, but she loved the little handmade book I made her as a birthday present. We had a small party for her on the saturday night with Lawyer and his boyfriend, and that was rather lovely.

I got back to the City on Sunday afternoon, utterly worn out, and stupidly went into creative mode, ended up ignoring Poet and her boy til silly o'clock in the morning on their last night in town. Feel utterly silly now I realise it, but when the artistic urge comes it is hard to resist!

Monday saw my guests leaving, and myself at the hospital getting a lump in my boob checked out - looks like nothing serious, but will have to be playing gently for a while!

The rest of this week again has gone like a fingersnap. Met Mountain for coffee on Tuesday night to confirm details for the weekend – more about that later. Then my Gay Fiancee arrived in the City – a day sooner than I expected, and the next two days disappeared entirely.

Today I am working and then I will be heading straight to Mountain’s. He is taking me away for the weekend and we will be going to a fetish/swing club he is already a member of – it will be my first time at one really (having been there, I really don’t think Torture Garden counts it’s more a dance club with a fancy dress theme!), and also the longest we have spent together yet, and in the most kinky environment. So I am looking forward to it with both excitement and trepidation. Hoping things won’t get awkward if M’s ex decides to show up – I gather their breakup hasn’t been completely amicable, but will just have to cross that bridge if we come to it. At the very least I am looking forward to playing dress-up – there’s a ‘circus’ theme to the party on Saturday night, he is going as a Ring Master, and I shall be dressed as a ‘leopard’ though in as skimpy an outfit as possible. (Yes there are plenty of puns there, and I am resisting!)

Next week, well, I will catch up on that at a later date I think – it will be at least as busy as this one has been. At least I have one more trip to the Goldfish Bowl to look forward to, going back for NG’s last week before he moves to the City, and an enforced rest while I’m there. It’s a hard life….

Wish me luck for the weekend, and I hope you are all enjoying yourselves too.

Red.

xxx

Too busy to...

It's been crazy crazy again since I got back to the City. No time to sleep, no time to cook, hardly time to work, and definitely no time to blog. At the moment I am at Miss Anthropist's house, watching her sleep and stealing a few minutes online before I head to bed after her.

To backtrack a little, the date with Mountain that I mentioned was fun, but a little flat, since he was leaving for the airport at insane time in the morning, and we were both desperately tired
- neither of us quite at our best.

Seeing Optimus was good, and I was very glad I went, although we managed to rub each other the wrong way a little. We argued (very like siblings) on the Saturday morning, and though we sorted it out, in the end he was sweet enough to pay my train fare back to the city rather than have us both be feeling awkward in his car for two hours.
The birthday celebration for Lawyer was fantastic fun as well, though I wondered if I might have shocked some of his friends - I found myself suddenly explaining the tangle that is the love life of a single polyamorous woman to around six of them over dinner. Still, I saw a couple of 'gosh, I wonder if I could do that...' looks around the table, too.

The next few days were more work than play, and I wore myself out to the point where I found myself actually postponing a visit with Miss Sunshine and her husband, Gamer, just so that I could get some extra sleep and some me-time, knowing that it was going to be another burst of activity for at least a fortnight after that. I did get there in time for their anniversary party though, which was lovely, only marred by the fact that I had a sudden crisis with Nice Guy right in the middle of the party. I had forgotten to tell him I had arranged another date with Mountain, and was double-checking, and next thing I know we are deep in scary scary territory, he is hurting, scared, angry. I am trying to make it better but struggling because sometimes all you really need is to *be there* and we are many hundreds of miles apart physically, and it is killing me that he is hurting and trying so so hard not to be, and I can't even give him a hug.